Stationary Thoughts

I've got 2 hours to kill here in Gare du Nord before I head to Bruges, so I have time to reflect on the country I'm leaving. Here goes.

Practicality and efficiency must be swear words in France, because there's not much of it here. The metro cards are a clunky two-card system and holder, and there's no reason they couldn't just use one card that would fit in a wallet. The Metro stations have four mid century modern chairs for seating. These look nice, but you could seat twice as many people with a plain old bench. Similar triumphs of form over function, or of stupid over everything can be found all over the place. Therefore, I propose the French hire some Germans to come over and make a few changes to improve practicality over efficiency. They can start by moving all the toilets into the same room as the sinks. Seriously France, what the fuck is up with that?

For a people who prize form so highly over function, their cars are exactly the opposite. Renault, Peugeot, and Citroen make a lot of hatchbacks. While this makes sense for Paris' narrow streets and tiny parking spots, there is no reason they have to be so bland or ugly. Citroen makes a hatch that looks like somebody took an old Airstream and glued a hood and trunk on it. Renault makes one called the Megane that looks like a normal car with ass shots. Peugeot's just look meh. Top Gear has never actually enjoyed any of these things, preferring the much sportier looking Alfa Romeo line of cars from Italy (though these have been known to fall apart). Given that every car in Paris will eventually be hit by an idiot in a Dacia Sandero (bad news!), I'll take an Alfa.

The whole "impractical and inefficient French way" thing leads to shitty fire escapes, metro cards, and horrific waiting times, but holy god does it produce good food, and spectacular desserts. it takes a lot of effort to whip up a good merengue or mousse, but unlike with metro cards, the point is not to be efficient, the point is to be tasty. To this end, the French will spare no effort to make their food as scrumptious as possible, and that makes putting up with the other stuff worth it.

As those of you who study history know, the French have spent most of their history getting their asses kicked by the British, Germans, Russians, Vietnamese, and whoever else they fought (hell, it even took them two tries to beat Mexico, who can't even figure out not to all fall asleep at once when a horde of pissed off Texans are nearby). This appears to have given them a bit of an inferiority complex, which they have taken out in their city design. The grand boulevards are broad and flanked by ornate buildings, the city parks are grand and filled with statues, and the museums are enormous and ornate. It's as if Baron Haussman went to London, saw what they had their, and said to himself, "let's make sure Paris makes this look small and inadequate". It is very pretty though.

All in all, I enjoyed Paris. Yes, parts of it are touristy, yes, it's expensive, yes, there are many things here that will leave you scratching your head as to why on Earth anybody would do it this way. But, when you're strolling the gardens at Versailles, or looking out at the top of the Eiffel Tower, or digging into yet another delicious meal and/or pastry and/or chocolate and/or wine, you get why people like it here so much. You just wish they'd put the toilets in the same room as the sinks.

Also, hooray for never drinking another Kronenbourg again!