Beer Review: The Legend of Westvleteren 12.

Before we get to the review, it's time for a quick lesson as to why anybody would pay €1.07 per ounce of beer.

In Belgium (and the Netherlands and now Massachusetts), there are ten abbeys that are inhabited by trappist monks of the Cistercian order. Part of being a trappist Cistercian monk is doing manual labor. As such, these monks spend the time they aren't praying doing stuff like making cheese, baking bread, and most importantly, brewing beer. These goods are then sold to the public. However, since they take the whole "poverty, chastity, insert third vow here" thing seriously, they are not allowed to profit from these works, and so only brew enough beer to cover the upkeep of the abbey. Despite this limit, nine of the trappist monasteries are still able to brew enough to ship their product all over the world (although I suspect they circumvent the no profits rule by donating 100% of the money they take in over the upkeep to charity). However, that still leaves one group of monks who don't cheat, and limit their production to 500,000 cases per year. That group of monks are the ones behind Westvleteren.

This is a low production amount, but what makes this so hard to get is the internet. A lot of beer rating websites put Westvleteren 12 atop their list of best beers on the planet. Couple the low production with killer reviews and the monks' steadfast commitment not to expand and to limit the amount any one person can buy (only two cases per car per two months), and their refusal to distribute (any bottle sold is sold in direct opposition to the monks' wishes, but that has never stopped me from doing anything), and you've got everything you need for one colossally expensive beer.

Now, on to the review.

Served: Bottle, into a Belgian beer glass.

Appearance: Very dark brown. Almost black. I tend to refer to these beers as being "black enough to marry a Kardashian".

Smell: Alcohol, bread.

Taste: Immaculate. I hate wine, but this stuff reminds me of it in a good way. You get the same palpable sensation of alcohol (which you should at 10.2% ABV), but not as sharp as with wine. Instead of fruit, you get grains, smoke, and a hint of chocolate, and these do a much better job of masking the taste of ethanol than fruit.

Price: Yeah €11.95 for 11.2 ounces is steep, but given the effort required to obtain this stuff (I hit 4 stores to get a bottle, and I have no idea how anyone can manage to consistently stock it with the waiting period and low purchase quantity), and the high strength, I don't feel as though I have been cheated. Besides, only once in the 200 year history of the brewing has it been sold stateside, and then it was only in New York City, and ran damn near $90 for a couple bottles and two glasses.

Overall Review: Yeah, it gets the 10/10. Now I just have to convince my girlfriend that visiting Belgium is a good idea. (By the way, Alecia, there's a bunch more amazing stuff in Brugge, and the chocolate and waffles are great)